Living Alone!

Wow, I had no idea what it was like for single people to live alone. I used to fantasize about being single & doing what I want to do all the time. Usually, these thoughts came when one of my children were having fits or doing the "Mom, Mom, Mom" thing or Mark was giving me his list of "jobs" he wanted me to do. I got married shortly after I graduated and moved from my Mom's house in with Mark. 37 plus years and I have been alone for a total of less than 10 days (hospitals do not count as you are never alone in them).

After a week alone since Mark is away on business, I stand & applaud the single people of the world...whether by choice or not. I can not seem to get organized as no one is here to know if I got anything done or not. I have eaten a couple of snacks....what is the point of fixing food for me. I did eat a whole box of chocolate pudding though as my meal of the day yesterday...haha! I even watch stupid tv shows because I forgot where the remote is & am too lazy to find it. My sleeping habits are always bad but I have not been to bed before 5 am yet. It gets light outside & I go to sleep. I can not even blame being afraid as I live in a fortress, I just get preoccupied & forget to go to bed. (insomnia...always makes sleeping a challenge). I guess with time I would figure out a schedule but Mark will be home by then & I will resume my wifely duties.
At least I bath daily & get dressed but never seem to have the energy then to leave the house. I plan but never leave. I do my laundry & keep my house clean out of habit even though no one to know if I did not. I answer Mark's calls if I see them....still getting use to my Google phone & loving it.
So far, I learned after being a group or couple for over 37 years that I have lost the ability to survive alone. I am very self sufficient or so I thought until now. I thought it was so easy for all those single people to only have to take care of themselves.
BOY! was I wrong...it is so hard to hear the silence, to be an individual without thinking someone else will come "rescue" me from being alone, to be solely responsible for just me & no one else. Other than 2 telephone calls a day from Mark...I have spoken to no one. I left the house once...got stopped at a license check with 30-45 backup in 90 heat & no air conditioning. I got a horrid migraine, had to rush home, threw up, blood pressure dropped, fell & hit my chin and spent the rest of the night throwing up & laying a wet cloth on my head. So my big independence left me with an ugly bruise under my chin and a leftover headache.
It is not like I see or talk to many people but Mark makes me go places with him....dinner, poker night, or ride to a job with him. But this week has been so quiet...only my birthday was quieter haha!
My hat is off to every person who lives alone & must plan their days. I am terrible at it. Shows we must be careful what we wish for...2 more days & my single days are over. I love my husband as he is my very bestest friend too!